Oh how things change in a year boy of boy!!! Last year at this time no I was not a blogger but I most likely wrote as much if not more than a blogger. The pictures you see up above are of a visit we had with my daughter when she was taken into protective custody and put into a home for children that needed mental help. A few weeks before she was placed there was an episode that caused this all, without getting to much into details she was on a high dose of medication from her doctor that she was to have a small amount each morning. The spare bottle was not brought back to me after a visit with someone so the next weekend I had to send my full bottle I had….knowing it was a bad idea but she needed the medication. I used a pen and marked where the liquid was so I could see when it came back. I was more worried about the adults around her trying it out. Well she had her Birthday party there and I guess was not interested. I told them when she comes home please remember her medicine because I didn’t have any other bottles as that was half a months worth there. I was informed the bottle was empty, my heart just sunk but I was thinking an adult took it because it was prozac.
She had to be rushed to the hospital when they brought her home, because none of the “RESPONSIBLE” adults noticed anything wrong with her!
Umm Hello her eyes were rolling! She got home sat next to my fiance and said she was tired, he eyes rolled and she passed out on his lap. I had called the pharmacy to see what to do and she was brought to the hospital. The hospital informed me that they could not give exact numbers with prozac because there was no way of telling the only thing that was positive she was overdosed on her medication. Talking to the doctor that actually wrote her scripts we didn’t know exactly how much she had in her system so we though best to keep her off it for a while and kind of let her withdraw. You all may have been writing blogs but I was writing documents for courts child services and anyone else that could help me. I even wrote to the state rep. Always in a professional manner even though I wanted to kill someone. This mama kept her cool through all of this. Her team had come to the house one day because the night before Alyssa had an episode where it was not pretty, not getting into details here but to make that part of the story short, I didn’t want to do it because I felt like a failure but I had to call for help because I was scared for her safety and could not contain her. I can restrain a child but I am not trained and because she was so bad I couldn’t get close enough to restrain. So once again here I was writing just in a different way a blogger would write. I basically wrote papers to let my child go into a sort of child’s mental hospital for help. She had fallen asleep before they showed up so we did all the paperwork while she slept and I cried. The next day my house was packed with her team the people that were there the night before to kind of have a team meeting and see what to do from there. They talked to her and had her fill out papers but papers for kids her age. She knew what she had done knew she had scared everyone and even said she needed help. We set up to meet with her Therapist who was also the doctor that would give her medication for this type of thing. we had a long meeting with her the team myself and fiance. We didn’t get much accomplished there but he gave me her medication back to see if that would help. As we drove to the pharmacy my phone rang, be ready in 20 minutes they were sending transportation for her myself and my fiance to bring her an hour away from home.
I cried and cried but I did as I was told. We got there, brought her up to her ward gave her a kiss and that was that. We went down to the office and we filled out more and more papers. I have become a master at writing by now. I was always fighting doctors, schools, therapists and always having to fill out papers. So there you have it my daughter was gone and I was a wreck. Now came the task of calling her father the next morning and he had a mental fit because she was not notified when I called for help to my house. I am sorry but in an emergency you are the last person I am going to call, they didn’t leave my house until after midnight and after being with him so long before our split I knew the routine. He would have been drunk and come to my house to fight.
So he throws a mental fit and now I am at the court house, once again more and more papers. Trying to get his visits taken away. Then here comes his attorney and still to this day I can not tell you where he pulled this one out. More and More papers again. Like I said I am a pro at filling out professional papers. I did have an attorney as well. We were in and out of court so much when she was in that place for the 20 days. He wanted to take her for an overnight from there because he bought tickets to a show. I said NO HELL NO you can not take her for an overnight and bring her back. That would hurt her even more coming home for a night and then going back. His attorney fought with me right in front of the judge because his client bought these tickets and I refused to let him take her out of there. She was where she needed to be and she was not leaving until we were told she was ready. Then come the threats, so more and more paper work for the courts to get a restraining order keeping him away from myself and the facility she was in. It held up for a few days until we went before a judge that I have gone head to head with over the safety of my child. She lifted the order and he was allowed back to visit….at least for a bit until he showed up intoxicated and they threw him out and called child services on him. Guess what I had to do??? You got it more writing more paper work. All this time I was keeping a notebook of every little detail in hopes that one day someone would see it from my eyes and read what I have had witnessed or gone through with him taking her. The notebook did no good what so ever. I could maybe use it to write a book one day.
My daughter finally gets to come home after 20 days!! 20 long agonizing days of not having my baby with me but I knew she was where she needed to be. Paper work affidavits you name it this momma was a pro at filling them all out. I had become so well aware of all her disorders from studying every waken moment why my child was the way she was. I have been to conventions with other parents of children with special needs and actually spoke at one. I am a shy person I can’t speak but I had to I needed to let them know what I did so they could maybe help their own children.
Papers for school papers for insurance any kind of legal paperwork you name it that was what I was doing a year ago!!
Now lets focus on the here and now!!! I still of course have my two wonderful girls I would not trade for the world! I have my little one on the right medication and we don’t have meltdowns anymore and she talks to mommy. Some days she is a little off but it is ok we all have days like that!! She is doing Great in the new school system and they have taught her somewhat how to read. yes there is still paperwork for school on occasion but I am not logged down with paperwork and letters to write everyday. I fought my battle and won, my daughter gets what she needs with no arguments and no letters to the school board. Many say I am an inspiration to them but I don’t see it that way, what I see is I achieved what needed to be done for my daughter. A year later I now have a blog where I can write about anything I want to write about. No more court papers and doctors papers. I am having fun with my writing like I use to back in high school.
I can write as much as I want and I am no longer writing to doctors or judges so I can relax on my wording and be more down to earth where we all belong. I may have only been blogging a few months now but it has taken a great deal of stress away from me. I have met wonderful people on my blogging journey and I have met not so nice people on my journey, so in essence blogging is kind of writing all the papers I had to do in a professional manner. You meet some winners that will help you achieve the goal you have set out to achieve, just like in the system you find them good people that are there every step of the way to make sure you are on the right track and it will not backfire on you. Then there are the 0ne’s you need to avoid weather it be a blogger or a fan of someones page, just like in the system there are people waiting at every step to take you down. I don’t know if it is for jealousy or that is just the way people are. After all the hard work I have done to help my daughter I am not going to let the few bad apples of bloggers take me down, I will continue on my journey writing new things and meeting new people. Some of the people I will become close with and they will know a lot about me and others I will keep a distance from because they are here to take advantage and take you down. I am a stronger woman this year because of all I have had to do in the past, blogging and reviewing is so much better than court papers and doctors papers any day. I just watch my back as everyone should and I move forward to achieve Great success in the Blogging world!!! I have the best bunch of Bloggers I just have to thank for helping me in the few short months I have been blogging, or should I say blogging online….What about all the notebooks I have piled high with valuable information?!? I may have been blogging for years now just not publicly on the internet but in notebooks with white lined paper!!!
Thank you to everyone who makes me feel like a someone, you are all very special to me and are now considered friends of mine!!!
Now we can all be a happy family, blood doesn’t matter when it comes to Love my fiance Loves the kids just like they are his own and the kids love him just the same!!! That right there is the man I have to Thank for my success in everything I have done to better my little one’s life along with my own!! Without him I would not have had the courage to stand up to the bid wigs I stood up to so I can get the right services for my daughter!
Just a little side note, my camera was old and acting up the dates are not correct, but I have a lovely new camera now